Dave Elliott Archives - Whole Life HubWhole Life Hub

How one classic story can help YOU create a new, more compelling story

Not long ago, I realized quite by accident that my wife had never seen probably the first and most classic “personal development” movie ever made – and we love great PD movies. So naturally, I had to rectify that. The film I’m talking about is “The Wizard of Oz” widely reported to be the first color film ever shot when it was made in 1939. (Perhaps the best year ever in the history of motion pictures because a film named “Gone With The Wind” was being shot simultaneously).

Spoiler Alert

If you’ve never seen it, click away now, and I highly recommend you make it a point to see it. But since I’ve waited 76 years since its release, I think most people have had a chance to see it so I’m going to talk about the plot in making some key points that still apply to you and your life today.

Setting The Scene…

Our story opens with a young girl in rural Kansas around the turn of the century living with her aged aunt and uncle on a farm. She has a traumatic event when an evil “witch” of a neighbor accuses her beloved dog, Toto, of biting her and tries to take him away and have him killed. This leads her to dream of a magical world somewhere over the rainbow where she can’t get into any trouble. This turns out to be foreshadowing because in no time at all, a sudden and violent twister or tornado symbolically rocks her entire world and changes life as she knows it. The house she’s in is literally uprooted from its foundation and sent hurtling toward the unknown…and she awakens in a strange land called Oz.

We’re Off To See the Wizard…

Once there, Dorothy once again innocently ends up on the wrong side of an evil witch who suspiciously looks a lot like her old neighbor back in Kansas who wanted to kill her dog. At that point, Dorothy realizes she just wants to go back home because in hindsight, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. A good witch named Glinda gives her a magical pair of ruby slippers said to keep her safe…but they also keep her at risk because the Wicked Witch pursues her relentlessly to get them. Glinda then sets her off on a journey or quest to see the one man in all of Oz who can help her get back home…the wonderful Wizard of Oz. She’s counseled to “stay on the path” also known as the Yellow Brick Road and sets off toward the unknown.

We’re Never Traveling Alone

Along the way, Dorothy meets up with a strange cast of characters who end up on the journey with her so they can also be helped on their quest by this wonderful Wizard. She meets an awkward and uncertain scarecrow who thinks everything would be better if he only had a brain. Next she meets a rusted tin man who sees his limitation as his lack of a heart so he joins the pilgrimage. Finally, the trio gets accosted by what appears at first to be a fierce and scary lion but once they stand up to him, he is revealed as a coward whose false bravado is nothing more than an overcompensation for true courage. As you might expect, all four of them (and her little dog, too) go looking for this magical wizard who can help make their dreams come true…all the while being pursued and targeted by the wicked witch.

To Make A Long Story Short…

Of course we all love a happy ending, but among the many lessons we can ALL take from the Wizard is that life is not about the destination or events that occur around us, it’s about the JOURNEY that defines us…

• It’s about the stories we tell ourselves about who we are…or what things mean…or why we can’t…or more importantly, why we CAN.

• It’s about the fact that who we surround ourselves with on our journey profoundly influences our experience and makes a huge difference in the quality of our lives.

• It’s about the fact that whether it’s a relentless, wicked witch we fear…or insecurity…or vulnerability or anything else for that matter, what we fear or avoid will keep showing up over and over again in some other form until we conquer it “for good.”

• It’s about the fact that no matter what the goal – or the obstacle we face – the right combination of brains (wisdom), heart (love) and courage will pretty much solve or handle any challenge. In fact…it often allows us to do the seemingly impossible.

• Lastly, it reminds us that while a great wizard (or coach) can ultimately make a huge difference in unlocking potential, the real moral of the story is that the answers almost always lie within you or are available to you.

A Real World Application

I recently used a form of “Wizard of Oz” therapy to help a client who was dealing with a huge invasion of privacy by her mother whose long history of mental abuse and controlling behavior has been the root of many of her challenges. We’ve made tremendous progress in our work together and fundamentally changed the relationship forever but there are sometimes many layers in transformation that evolve over time. By helping her access just the right combination of wisdom, love and courage, my client had all she needed to successfully set a powerful and effective boundary with her mother that for the first time ever resulted in her mother’s contrition instead of the kind of relentless and terrorizing outrage that kept her in fear of the next outburst. For decades, my client has wished and tried to change her mom without success…yet now that we’ve fundamentally changed MY CLIENT…well, as you can see…her mother has shifted.

So my question for you is: what could you shift forever by just accessing a little more wisdom…a little more courage…or a little more love? Whether it’s attracting a relationship, transforming one, creating a dream, or even healing a trauma, it really is a powerful magical formula…how would you use it?

(more…)

May 26, 2015

Published by Dave Elliott at May 26, 2015

A Historic Approach To Changing Your Own Personal History.

How one classic story can help YOU create a new, more compelling story Not long ago, I realized quite by accident that my wife had never seen probably the first and most classic “personal development” movie ever made – and we love great PD movies. So naturally, I had to rectify that. The film I’m talking about is “The Wizard of Oz” widely reported to be the first color film ever shot when it was made in 1939. (Perhaps the best year ever in the history of motion pictures because a film named “Gone With The Wind” was being shot simultaneously). Spoiler Alert If you’ve never seen it, click away now, and I highly recommend you make it a point to see it. But since I’ve waited 76 years since its release, I think most people have had a chance to see it so I’m going to talk about the plot in making some key points that still apply to you and your life today. Setting The Scene… Our story opens with a young girl in rural Kansas around the turn of the century living with her aged aunt and uncle on a farm. She has a traumatic event when an evil “witch” of a neighbor accuses her beloved dog, Toto, of biting her and tries to take him away and have him killed. This leads her to dream of a magical world somewhere over the rainbow where she can’t get into any trouble. This turns out to be foreshadowing because in no time at all, a sudden and violent twister or tornado symbolically rocks her entire world and changes life as she knows it. The house she’s in is literally uprooted from its foundation and sent hurtling toward the unknown…and she awakens in a strange land called Oz. We’re Off To See the Wizard… Once there, Dorothy once again innocently ends up on the wrong side of an evil witch who suspiciously looks a lot like her old neighbor back in Kansas who wanted to kill her dog. At that point, Dorothy realizes she just wants to go back home because in hindsight, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. A good witch named Glinda gives her a magical pair of ruby slippers said to keep her safe…but they also keep her at risk because the Wicked Witch pursues her relentlessly to get them. Glinda then sets her off on a journey or quest to see the one man in all of Oz who can help her get back home…the wonderful Wizard of Oz. She’s counseled to “stay on the path” also known as the Yellow Brick Road and sets off toward the unknown. We’re Never Traveling Alone Along the way, Dorothy meets up with a strange cast of characters who end up on the journey with her so they can also be helped on their quest by this wonderful Wizard. She meets an awkward and uncertain scarecrow who thinks everything would be better if he only had a brain. Next she meets a rusted tin man who sees his limitation as his lack of a heart so he joins the pilgrimage. Finally, the trio gets accosted by what appears at first to be a fierce and scary lion but once they stand up to him, he is revealed as a coward whose false bravado is nothing more than an overcompensation for true courage. As you might expect, all four of them (and her little dog, too) go looking for this magical wizard who can help make their dreams come true…all the while being pursued and targeted by the wicked witch. To Make A Long Story Short… Of course we all love a happy ending, but among the many lessons we can ALL take from the Wizard is that life is not about the destination or events that occur around us, it’s about the JOURNEY that defines us… • It’s about the stories we tell ourselves about who we are…or what things mean…or why we can’t…or more importantly, why we CAN. • It’s about the fact that who we surround ourselves with on our journey profoundly influences our experience and makes a huge difference in the quality of our lives. • It’s about the fact that whether it’s a relentless, wicked witch we fear…or insecurity…or vulnerability or anything else for that matter, what we fear or avoid will keep showing up over and over again in some other form until we conquer it “for good.” • It’s about the fact that no matter what the goal – or the obstacle we face – the right combination of brains (wisdom), heart (love) and courage will pretty much solve or handle any challenge. In fact…it often allows us to do the seemingly impossible. • Lastly, it reminds us that while a great wizard (or coach) can ultimately make a huge difference in unlocking potential, the real moral of the story is that the answers almost always lie within you or are available to you. A Real World Application I recently used a form of “Wizard of Oz” therapy to help a client who was dealing with a huge invasion of privacy by her mother whose long history of mental abuse and controlling behavior has been the root of many of her challenges. We’ve made tremendous progress in our work together and fundamentally changed the relationship forever but there are sometimes many layers in transformation that evolve over time. By helping her access just the right combination of wisdom, love and courage, my client had all she needed to successfully set a powerful and effective boundary with her mother that for the first time ever resulted in her mother’s contrition instead of the kind of relentless and terrorizing outrage that kept her in fear of the next outburst. For decades, my client has wished and tried to change her mom without success…yet now that we’ve fundamentally changed MY CLIENT…well, as you can see…her mother has shifted. So my question for you is: […]

May 3, 2015

Published by Dave Elliott at May 3, 2015

One Simple Way To Change Your Life…Forever…

by Dave Elliott WARNING: This Could Be A Total Game-Changer! Here’s a provocative question: If I could show you how to make your life better every time you used a bathroom, would you be interested? Now before you think I’m being inappropriate, I’m talking about a totally different kind of “bathroom habit.” Let me explain: It all started in Fiji… I could explain this best by sharing the story of how I used this “assignment” to change my own life. Back in 2007, I had the good fortune to attend Tony Robbins’ excellent Life Mastery program in his private resort in Fiji. It was a huge stretch for me at the time because I still had a pre-teen daughter living with me at the time and I had never been farther than Mexico or Canada back then. It literally WAS a world away back then but today as I look back, that trip was one of the first times I accomplished something extraordinary by having the audacity to set a goal that was anything but ordinary. When I consider the fact that I now LIVE in Australia – not far from Fiji – it goes to show just how far a little boundary-busting can take you when you focus on possibilities rather than limitations! Back to the story… As I was leaving the island, several artists and craftsmen from the local village came out to display their work at the landing strip where the private planes transported us back to the main airport. One of those craftsmen was a man in a wheelchair who made jewelry from seashells he polished and mounted. While chatting with him, he told me he ended up paralyzed after a fall from a coconut tree. After battling depression, he started making his jewelry in order to help support his family. I had initially declined to buy a necklace because I told myself and him “I’m not a jewelry guy.” However, after hearing his story, I was moved by his finding a new purpose so I wanted to donate the $20 he was charging. I knew I wouldn’t miss the money and he surely needed it more than me. However, his pride wouldn’t allow him to accept my donation and he picked a necklace and insisted I take it. A new story begins… Moments after I thanked him and put on the necklace, one of the women on the island with me gave me a big beaming compliment on how much she loved my new purchase. As she told me how great it looked on me in front of a half dozen people, my old story about the fact that “I’m not a jewelry guy” kind of disappeared. As I relayed the story, I told her that my new necklace was a powerful reminder that “it’s not about me” because as I was growing my relatively new coaching business, I really wanted to emphasize service & contribution to others. Anchors Away In NLP terms, one definition of an “anchor” is a powerful trigger or stimulus that evokes emotion through association. For me, that necklace became a powerful anchor that reinforced a belief and a state that literally and viscerally changed my life. From the moment I bought that necklace, I wore it every single day as a simple but profound reminder that “it’s not about me.” I let go of worrying what other people thought of me and designed a life where I focused on simply loving and serving others. Every time I touched that necklace…washed my hands… shaved…or looked in a mirror, I got an instant reminder that “it’s not about me” that left me with a smile on my face. As you might expect, after a year or more of wearing that necklace, I had what you might call a “breakthough.” That’s right. By the time wear and tear took its toll on my necklace, my gratitude was so engrained in me, I didn’t need that necklace any more…but I replaced it with a new one anyway JUST BECAUSE I LOVED THE WAY IT FELT every time I fired off feelings of immense gratitude. So what does this have to do with you? Well I’m glad you asked. If setting an anchor around a piece of jewelry worked so well for me and it changed my life forever…just imagine what it could do FOR YOU. I have given this assignment to clients a few times over the years and let’s just say that it’s one of those assignments that gets far less resistance…and far higher compliance. Imagine a coach giving you permission to make a nice discretionary purchase under the guise of “doing your homework”…that’s just one more reason why my clients love me so much. Let me show you how powerfully this works: • One of my clients was a little on the shy side but she loved whimsical wristwatches so she found one that just made her smile every time she looked at it. Today she smiles all the time…and at the same time…she is far more welcoming, confident and comfortable in social interactions. THAT has led to more comfort, more social interactions…and more DATES! • One of my clients needed to learn to love herself before she could ever expect a man to do it and after a few months, that diamond ring she gave herself helped do the trick very nicely. • One of my clients used a motherhood ring she already had with her children’s birthstones to reconnect with the hope and promise she felt when they were little but had gotten strained as they navigated their teen years. By reconnecting to her more pure maternal instincts, she helped transform her relationship with her kids. I helped her let go of the illusion of “control” and opt instead for empowered influence. Her kids didn’t really notice the ring…but they definitely noticed how she was lightening up and nagging less! How can you use this? So I’m curious…now that I’ve […]

March 17, 2015

Published by Dave Elliott at March 17, 2015

Are You Ready To Learn Your Lesson?

What if that thing that “always happens to you” is no coincidence? Recently I answered a question in an online forum where I coach and I thought it would be a valuable share here for my readers as well. The meme that generated the question said “Sometimes in life, your situation will keep repeating itself until you learn your lesson.” So let me ask you: have you ever said things to yourself or thought “why does this always happen to me?” or “what’s wrong with me?” when things seem a little frustrating? It’s probably not an accident